Good Grief

[omimouse]

I cannot believe I am actually asking this, but I'd rather not spend the next week beating self-doubt over the head.

Did I overreact?

If you don't know what I'm talking about . . . well, it's back only an entry or two, though the original post is locked. (And it's *staying* that way.) If you don't want to know, believe me, I'm not gonna get upset or offended.

This would be my reality check request.

Comments

[omimouse.livejournal.com]

Correction, screened. Feel free to e-mail or call; I am *not* going to discuss any of my opinions, good, bad, or indiffernt in regards to Crystal's private life on a public post.

Hiding behind curtains? Nope, just that it ain't my life to spread to the public now, is it?

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

Considerate of you, since spreading private details of your life to uninvited parties was what caused the scrum in the first place.

[chaiya.livejournal.com]

That's an interesting place to draw that line, given the rest of what you and others have been writing about me. I do appreciate the sudden respect for my privacy. I also think the root question dimers asked was a good one (or at least one I'd like to hear the answer to): Why did you make derogitory comments about my religion and sexuality? The comment about hoping that I hug a cactus was presumably venting, but deciding to bring my religious and sexual identity into it seemed ... well, rather low.

No, you didn't do this mild character assassination in a public post, but you did do it in a non-private arena, and yes, it got back to me. I believe that was predictable, in fact, given that people who care about me were reading it, including my own husband.

I have been trying very hard to remind myself that you are under a lot of stress, that you have a lot going on right now, that everyone gets pissed off sometimes, and that you are normally a very nice person. I haven't, at any point, even in private, said anything unkind or hurtful about you. Actually, I have halted others from saying unkind and hurtful things about you in private, too.

As I assume you know, it *was* hurtful of you to say those things about me, behind my back or to my face. I never realized you disapproved of my religious life, or my sexuality, and I am honestly astonished at the way in which you chose to express that now. This seems, to me, to be rather bad form. But clearly we have disparate definitions of bad behavior. I am willing to accept that, work toward mutual peace and understanding, and move on, trying not to step in the same landmine in the future. Are you?

[louisadkins.livejournal.com]

The comment in question was not a derogitory comment about your religion or sexuality. Her commentary was in regards to the choices made.

[chaiya.livejournal.com]

You (and your vocal friends) seem to think poorly of me for pursuing this "dead horse" conversation, but I have been trying to find some way of salvaging this situation with a workable relationship at the end of it. You choose to interpret my words and actions as negatively as possible, and spin them as such to your friends and my cousin, but I pursue this because (as previously stated) I do still care, particularly about warinbear and catchild, but about all of you in general. I realize that pointing this out means I probably look even more like a prick to you and whatever audience is still listening, but I have tried to be fair and calm throughout this discussion. I have tried to say and do nothing that I will regret later. I do not feel you have lent me the same courtesy/respect. Mock me again for "playing the martyr" or whatever, but I honestly do feel this is a poor way to treat someone who at least used to be a friend and family member, up until this past weekend.

You also ignored my multiple apologies, which probably weren't what you were looking for, but they were heartfelt and honest. I am, honestly and truly, very sorry and very sad about all of this. Had I the ability to do it all over again, I would choose differently, and try to avoid this landmine that has exploded on me.

[omimouse.livejournal.com]

If you want there to be any chance down the road of salvage, then Please. Drop. This. And. Give. Me. Space.