omimouse | Entries tagged with mother-in-law-issues

A check for the full amount of the balance owed to Warin's mom went out via registered mail today. Once we get the notice that it's been recieved, we're free of her. Free. Dear gods, that will feel so good. E-mail block, phone number block, return all mail unopened to sender . . .

-happysigh-

I know that there are folks (a fair number of which are on my f-list, even) that are trying to build something healthy with this woman. I really do wish them all the best, and ask that they understand that this is no longer an option for us. With one thing and another, I believe that it never really has been a realistic option.

He's tried, folks. If you cannot understand why he would choose to shut her out of his life, please at least try to understand that it was not a hastily reached descion. Nor is it one that anyone is likely to change.

And yeah, I'm damned happy to finally be able to close the door on her. And no, I'm not going to pretend to be anything other than overjoyed that very shortly, she will be someone we no longer have to deal with in any way, shape, or form.

This is her own damned fault, and as far as I'm concerned, she can suck on it 'till her teeth fall out.

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: 'Unforgiven', Metallica

email is away.

Have something on hand to counteract the potential for an instant blood pressure headache, 'kay?

Current Mood: cold rage, the killing edge
Current Music: Jenny Arean, "Het is Over"

Warin got a response. .

Right, then.

I am doing research on custidodial IRA accounts, since that's what Kathy said it was. So far, I'm finding that it should have been turned over to him when he turned 21.

They want Warin to go to family counseling with Kathy. They want him to explain why they're not allowed to see the kids anymore (they were given multiple warnings, and full reasons). They still think he owes them a sum of money on the loan that indicates that they are still applying intrest to it. This was not agreed to when the loan was originally loaned out, and while the loan is a legal debt, the intrest is not. They called him their 'prodigal son', who has 'squandered his inheritance on riotous living.'

Tomorrow, it's IRS time.

Please, don't try to explain their reasons to/for me right now. Abuse and general vicious, contolling behaviour is not excused by good intentions. It is not made lesser by good deeds performed in the past, present, or future. Do I think that they are demons? We are all our own angels and our own demons, so in that regard, yes, they are. They are their own demons; they destroy their own lives and relationships. They have souls, and wants, and needs, same as everyone else. And, like everybody else, they are capabale of both extreme good and mind-numbing evil, and all the shades of grey in between.

Asking me to have any kind of sympathy for them while they are doing their best to shred Warin in to little bitty bits where no one else can see is more than asking a bit much of me.

After this, our only contact with them is going to be loan payments. After that, well, we'll see if they've managed to get past the need to control everything that Warin does.

I'm not holding my breath.

I am going to go play WoW now. Hopefully, killing things online will help me calm down.

Current Mood: cold rage, the killing edge
Current Music: Alanis Morrissette, 'Perfect'

So, you're a parent, right? Even if you're not, please, for the sake of this excercise pretend. You've got kids, and you want to make sure that they're set up later in life. So you set up IRAs for them, in their names. You put money in them, and so on and so forth.

Later on, when one of the kids is all grown up and been having some problems paying off a debt to you, you offer the IRA he has as a way of paying off the debt. He says no thanks, but I would really like the info on the IRA for my financial paperwork. A week or two later, he e-mails you again, saying that he needs the information for his finacial paperwork.

A week after that (still no response whatsoever) he calls one of you at work, re-stating that he needs the information. Information on an IRA that is in his name. What, as a parent, is your response?

For example, is it, "Why do you want to know?", with a strong dash of, "We won't give you the information until you tell us why you want it."

This is not making me happy. They have already put Warin and Catchild both in not-so-good graces with one of the finacial aid departments in Alabama because they didn't give him information on something financial with his name on it. Like, say, a savings account with a large sum of money in it. They applied, and, not knowing about the account, didn't list it. Alabama's response was not happy, and they pointed out that Warin and Catchild hadn't listed this account as one of their resources. I think that the two of them stil can't apply for any kind of financial aid from the state of Alalbama because of that debacle.

There is no excuse for this. This is playing games of control with money that has Warin' name on it. No matter what they think of how he lives his life or spends his money, this IRA is in his name. Common bloody courtesy would dictate that they give him the information on it, without playing stupid little petty ass games.

Anyone know of any legal recourse we can take if they decide to be total jackasses about this? Better yet, do any of the folks related to Kathy know where they have their IRAs through so we can contact the financial institution directly?

Current Mood: grumpy
Current Music: Type O Negative, 'Love You to Death'

I probably should have posted this yesterday, but it got lost in the shuffle of errands and a nasty headache.

Warin's mom has found out about the move. Chances are that the loan payment that we sent is what did it, seeing as the return address had all 3 of our names and the new address on it. No, she hasn't talkied to Warin about it at all; why on earth would dhe talk to him first? I'm feeling squirmy enough about revealing folks that I'll let our source (okay, so I've always wanted to say that) reveal hirself at hir choice.

This is a heads up that drama and attempts at "divide and conquer" tactics are likely to be a'comin' from Huntsville. Knowing that woman, they're likely to be aimed square at the kids.

Why couldn't she be more like Catchild's mom? Huh? Or like Louis's mom? Hell, is basic human decency too much to ask for?

Please, let me be making the wrong call on her behaviour. Please. Please be wrong, please be wrong . . .

Current Mood: rainbow shields ON
Current Music: Leslie Fish, "Bella Ciao"

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Mouse in the Library

A Study in Organized Chaos

Paying It Off

Catchild,

IRAs and Blocheads, Part 2

Of IRAs and Blockheads

PSA

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January 2019

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