Feb. 21st, 2010

omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
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This one hits on a day where the 'pregnancy scatter-brained effect' is hitting me *really* hard. Soooo, what would on any other day have been a long rant about how creativity and intellect ARE NOT FUCKING INCOMPATIBLE, AND FUCK YOU FOR SAYING I SHOULD HAVE TO CHOOSE will instead boil down to:

Bloody fucking hell, fuck off. I want my ability to think clearly back, and I want it back NOW. And don't think that I can just loose myself in a creative project now that I'm having trouble thinking, oh no no. See, without my intellect all here, I have massive trouble with my creative projects. I have trouble piecing things together, making designs, loosing myself in the act of just *making something pretty*.

I think this might be the scariest part of pregnancy so far, for me. This feeling of at lest partial loss of control over the inside of my own head. Yesterday I was discussing philosophy with Louis; today I'll consider myself lucky if I can concentrate on a game of solitaire. No, no, I'll keep my brain, thankyouverymuch.

After all, while I may never be a world-class dancer, I can always at least pick up some basic moves and have fun.


omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)

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