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This one hits on a day where the 'pregnancy scatter-brained effect' is hitting me *really* hard. Soooo, what would on any other day have been a long rant about how creativity and intellect ARE NOT FUCKING INCOMPATIBLE, AND FUCK YOU FOR SAYING I SHOULD HAVE TO CHOOSE will instead boil down to:

Bloody fucking hell, fuck off. I want my ability to think clearly back, and I want it back NOW. And don't think that I can just loose myself in a creative project now that I'm having trouble thinking, oh no no. See, without my intellect all here, I have massive trouble with my creative projects. I have trouble piecing things together, making designs, loosing myself in the act of just *making something pretty*.

I think this might be the scariest part of pregnancy so far, for me. This feeling of at lest partial loss of control over the inside of my own head. Yesterday I was discussing philosophy with Louis; today I'll consider myself lucky if I can concentrate on a game of solitaire. No, no, I'll keep my brain, thankyouverymuch.

After all, while I may never be a world-class dancer, I can always at least pick up some basic moves and have fun.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-02-21 09:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mama-hogswatch.livejournal.com
You do get your brain back, honest.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-02-22 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mikailova.livejournal.com
I promise it comes back, it really does. I remember that feeling to. The worst feeling I had over all. I seemed to enjoy coloring in coloring books at that time. It required no brain power and if it turned out bad, there was always another page.

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