Playing catch-up, and my f-list . .
Apr. 20th, 2005 03:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
omimouse. . . seems to have minorly exploded in a debate regarding stuff on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
childfree.
Now, let me make my stance clear right from the start:
Your reproductive rights are yours, and yours alone. Don't want kids? Your choice entirely. Want kids? Again, your choice.
You do not have the right to ram your choice down everyone else's throat. If you want kids, you have no right to try to bully or guilt-trip those around you into having children. Not everyone wants kids, and you know what? That's perfectly all right! Parenting has considerable cons as well as pros, and for a decent number of people, the pros simply do not outweigh the cons. Parenting means taking on a considerable responsibility, namely careing for and teaching another human being. You are in for a lot of work, most of it very messy, either emotionally or physically. Free time evaporates, as do finances.
If you don't want kids, you have no right to expect those around you to simply cease childbearing and rearing. It doesn't work that way. Babies cry. Children throw temper tantrums. Children are not pets; one cannot simply 'leave them in the car' while the parents do their shopping. Baby-sitters cost money, as do day-care centers. Yes, it's true, a lot of parents are lousy at handeling their kids in a public place, or indeed, at handeling them at all.
Public places are, however, just that: public. If you are so rabidly childfree that you don't want anyone under the age of 14 within a few feet of you, then may I kindly inform you that the rest of us have lives as well, and that you learn to deal with the fact that children have rights as well, and that you're giving the rest of the childfree community an exceedingly bad name.
And, unless some hapless moron makes the mistake of calling me a 'breeder' or a 'moo', I think that's all I really have to say on this topic. Feel free to ask me questions. They are much preferred to assumptions.
childfree.Now, let me make my stance clear right from the start:
Your reproductive rights are yours, and yours alone. Don't want kids? Your choice entirely. Want kids? Again, your choice.
You do not have the right to ram your choice down everyone else's throat. If you want kids, you have no right to try to bully or guilt-trip those around you into having children. Not everyone wants kids, and you know what? That's perfectly all right! Parenting has considerable cons as well as pros, and for a decent number of people, the pros simply do not outweigh the cons. Parenting means taking on a considerable responsibility, namely careing for and teaching another human being. You are in for a lot of work, most of it very messy, either emotionally or physically. Free time evaporates, as do finances.
If you don't want kids, you have no right to expect those around you to simply cease childbearing and rearing. It doesn't work that way. Babies cry. Children throw temper tantrums. Children are not pets; one cannot simply 'leave them in the car' while the parents do their shopping. Baby-sitters cost money, as do day-care centers. Yes, it's true, a lot of parents are lousy at handeling their kids in a public place, or indeed, at handeling them at all.
Public places are, however, just that: public. If you are so rabidly childfree that you don't want anyone under the age of 14 within a few feet of you, then may I kindly inform you that the rest of us have lives as well, and that you learn to deal with the fact that children have rights as well, and that you're giving the rest of the childfree community an exceedingly bad name.
And, unless some hapless moron makes the mistake of calling me a 'breeder' or a 'moo', I think that's all I really have to say on this topic. Feel free to ask me questions. They are much preferred to assumptions.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-21 03:34 am (UTC)The main reason I stay away from most of the child-free communities is because I have a serious problem with the attitude that people who don't have or want kids are automatically better/smarter/whatever than those who do. I have a problem with people who honestly want kids being called "breeders." Yes, there's some people that I honest-to-gods believe should never be allowed to have children, for the sake of the child--but not all people who have kids are irresponsible or stupid.
I personally don't want kids, but it's not because I hate them or don't like them. Two years of living in Texas with my neice and nephew, Shali and Jaime, taught me that. But I know myself and my temper. It would be hard for me to be a good parent and to make the sacrifices necessary in order to be one. I'd probably resent the child for it, and that's just not fair. That being said, I have nothing but respect and admiration for the people who can do it and raise kids right. I'm more the "auntie" sort; as long as I can hand the kids back to the parents at the end of the day/weekend/whatever, I'm good. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-21 06:33 am (UTC)I have a problem with that attitude whether or not it's about kids and childrearing. Elitism, in any form, grates on my nerves. (Not that it necessarily shows, mind you -- I'm not the most demonstrative person when it comes to my feelings.) This includes things like having problems with One-True-Wayism, religious and otherwise; homophobia, and the particularly annoying dialect of it that some homosexuals demonstrate toward bisexuals; and the greener-than-thou branch [1] of environmentalism.
[1] Sorry. Couldn't help it. Well, maybe I could -- but I really didn't wanna.