Surviving

[omimouse]

Sparked by misia's post.

I have never been raped, or sexually abused in any fashion that I can remember. I don't count the guy that was busy playing with himself in the kids play area at a beach in the Netherlands when I was 12, because we all laughed at him something fierce. Never seen anyone turn so red or run so fast.

I have, however, been abused. It has taken me four long years to realize that trying to compare types of abuse, and state that what happened to me wasn't as bad as what happened to, say, catchild, and therefore my pain isn't as important, is ludicrous. What was done to me left damage all the same. I have flashbacks of my own.

I have difficulty believing that anyone will believe me, or take my word on anything. I used to have to struggle to even disagree with any large male that I consider to hold authority over me. I am far to used to having any problem I have be made fun of extensively, to the point that my instinctive tactics for bringing up a problem involve first ticking off whoever I'm talking with, becuase that way they'll at least listen to me instead of laugh. I have trouble with initiative. If I haven't been expressly told to do something, I still feel uncomfortable doing it, because doing something you haven't been told to do, no matter what it is, will get you into trouble.

I don't dwell on my childhood every day. When I do, my energy is spent more on undoing the damage that what was done than on raging about the fact that there's damage there in the first place.

My parents will never believe that they were abusive. I still love them. I will never again live under their roof, or permit them any further control over my life, however.

So, even though I'm not sure I have a right to put myself next to the others who have responded to the original:

I'm Naomi. I'm a survivor of emotional and physical violence.
No Pity. No Shame. No Silence.

Comments

[pagawne.livejournal.com]

I really do not think of it as a game of misery poker. (my misery is worse than your misery: I'll see your misery and raise you...)

[twistedchick]

You have a great deal of courage.

::applauds::

::offers tea:;

[catchild.livejournal.com]

So, even though I'm not sure I have a right to put myself next to the others who have responded to the original:

I'm Naomi. I'm a survivor of emotional and physical violence.
No Pity. No Shame. No Silence.


good for you posting this. we have told you for years that your pain is just as real just as valid and just as important as anyone elses.

hugs you.

[reana.livejournal.com]

::Applause::

I agree with Catchild. Whether anyone thinks their pain is more or less than another's is irrelevant most of the time. It's still very real and important.

Hugs to you.

[griffen.livejournal.com]

You absolutely have the right to put yourself next to us. I only wish it wasn't necessary.

*many hugs, if you want them*

[omimouse.livejournal.com]

Yes, hugs are pratically always very nice.

Touch, especially from people I care about (and you are definetly in that number) is important to me.

This, BTW does not obligate you into doing something that you don't want to do.

From misia's post, sorry if I'm intruding

[celaeno.livejournal.com]

I have, however, been abused. It has taken me four long years to realize that trying to compare types of abuse, and state that what happened to me wasn't as bad as what happened to, say, catchild, and therefore my pain isn't as important, is ludicrous. What was done to me left damage all the same. I have flashbacks of my own.

Thank you. I'm trying to get to that place myself, but it helps seeing others who can say it.

Re: From misia's post, sorry if I'm intruding

[catchild.livejournal.com]

The newish community nopity has a large # of folks saying this. It was sparked by misia's post.

[dimers.livejournal.com]

I have difficulty believing that anyone will believe me, or take my word on anything.

I take very seriously what you say. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't tickle me first, mind you; but I respect your ... hmmm ... I respect you.

I'm not sure I have a right to put myself next to the others who have responded to the original ...

You have the right, definitely. You may not be maintaining thematic coherence, but your right to stand with other good people is not in question.