By the pricking of my thumbs . . .

[omimouse]

moonstaf made an entry that . . .

I don't know what to call the feeling it evoked. Instant and complete understanding, perhaps? I know what she's talking about, because I feel it too. My dreams over the last few months have not been restful.

I know how it feels to be shot, whether by bullets, arrows, or bolts. I know what broken limbs feel like. I know the smell of blood, smoke and bodily wastes as they intermingle on a battlefield. I know what it feels like to drive a knife into someone's lower abdomen. I know how it feels to hold someone, to look into their eyes as they die. I have woken up with my hands clenched so tightly that my nails were almost opening my palms because I was holding a knife that tightly in dream. I have woken up and gone straight to catchild, running hands over her, holdong her, because I had just woken up from holding her as she bled to death in my arms. A few months ago, I woke up and spent a good five minutes wondering why the guards were not at their assigned posts, why there were unshuttered windows, and where all the weapons were, because I was supposed to be able to walk the length and breadth of the house and always be within arm's reach of a weapon. Last night, I and several others aimed and fired homemade rocket launchers at a tank line and I still remember the screams as the men inside that hadn't died instantly burned to death. I still remember Ebon and I leading two prisoners through the woods and only speaking in a Dutch-German mix, because too many people understood English, so that language wasn't safe.

For the past four months, my only dreams (and almost every night, at that) have been of fighting, or of the aftermath that follows a battle, and they have been incredibly vivid and real. The back of my neck feels like it's been rubbed with poison ivy, and I've been feeling increasingly restless. The feeling that I'm supposed to be doing something has been plauging me, and I don't even know what it is that I'm supposed to be doing, which is driving me even crazier!

And I find out that I'm not the only one who's feeling this . . . itch? premonition? impending storm? Whatever it is, it makes me feel a bit better to know that I'm not the only one feeling restless and uneasy for no discernable reason. If I'm totally nuts, then at least I'm not the only one.

Comments

[moonstaff.livejournal.com]

You aren't alone.

I don't know if I feel comforted by the company or more alarmed by it. Now, at least, I can't go back to ignoring it and pretending it's all my imagination.

[omimouse.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I feel comforted by the company or more alarmed by it. Now, at least, I can't go back to ignoring it and pretending it's all my imagination.

The first time I ignored a nagging feeling like this, I almost lost warinbear. The second time I ignored it was Yule of last year. The Bonfire Fiasco. louisadkins and I both started itching to go down to the discussion taking place at the bonfire at about the same time. After checking our timing up with the others who were down there, we realized that if we'd actually listened to that nagging feeling, we would've showed up about thirty seconds before J and Ebon started puffing at each other.

I will never ignore my intuition again.

[dimers.livejournal.com]

Comment The First. I note lots of people saying they feel charged, weirded, not frightened. I hope your experience comes to be more like that.

Comment The Second. I went over the responders to moonstaff's last entry that I could read, trying to make links among the people who described similar experiences. All I can say correctly is that it's a non-mainstream lot. Which is pretty much what you can expect from LJ users; even the middle-aged, loyalist, 9-to-5 golf lovers on LJ generally have quirks which set them notably apart from most middle-aged loyalist 9-to-5 golf lovers. Computer use. Interest in communication, or a need to be heard, to be differentiated. Perhaps secrets they don't share with their normal friends. In the interests listed, I turned up alternative sexualities and lifestyles a lot, but that's about the most specific I can get.

Which leads me to Comment The Third, that my guess about the eventual subject of the apprehension would run to either (1) Some sort of government vs. will of the people showdown, or (2) something Iraqi.

Option (1) I would certainly like, though if Omi's apprehension is properly tuned then people I care about are in a line of fire. I'd diminish the likelihood, though, simply because us alternative-lifestyle-and-sexuality types are more likely to NOTICE the creepy feelings without DISMISSING them, so it's not necessarily about us.

Option (2) I worry about more. I like to think that the final result of 'coincidence' in Iraq teaches the entire world about how to really govern a country and how not to, but it's just as likely that lots of people die and the USA becomes even more of a global empire.

Naturally, both of my ideas cast The U.S. Gub'mint in a starring role. Guess what's increasingly been on MY mind for a few years? Honestly, though, that entity *is* a factor in practically everything in the world, for better or worse (the price of pepper in China depends partially on trade agreements and sanctions formed by or around US government, and all that).

Done any kind of divination, get some specifics? I haven't been dreaming, which is normal for me, for several days, so I'm not exactly in on this. Last bit of dream I had was happy and banal, and only memorable for having warinbear without a beard.