(no subject)

[omimouse]

Panic attacks are horrible fucking things. I really hate them, and I hate having them, and I hate how they strip me down to a gibbering wreck.

They're far less frequent these days, but just as devastating as ever.

Therapy this Thursday; let's see if I can gel with the newbie, or if they flee screaming into the aether.

Comments

[gingicat]

Hoping that the new therapist is a terrific fit, and also that “newbie” means new to you, not that they’re a recent graduate.

[omimouse]

I think it means both in this case. We've already had our initial intake, and I kinda just hit all the real biggies one after the other, cause this is my third therapist here.

First one was fucking *perfect* - we clicked pretty much instantly, and yes, him having PTSD meant he *got it*, and *that* helped so much. And then he got sent somewhere else, because BHR is overwhelmed with too many people needing treatment and not nearly enough therapists.

Second dude never made it past the initial visit; Mia and I both watched him very quietly freak the fuck out the second the words, 'cult survivor' came out of my mouth. We're pretty sure I hit a trigger, but in any case, while I don't blame him for having an emotional reaction, I can't go into therapy and then watch everything I say so I don't hurt my therapist.

So, this one made it past the first visit, and I just dumped all the bombshells up front (including the DID-NOS) and she didn't freak out, or at least not visibly, so we're gonna see how the first 'real' visit goes.

I *really* fucking miss the first guy.