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louisadkins out to Wal-Mart and such tonight. On the drive home, I very nearly took the exit for I-65, so that I could drive to the Tennessee river and dive in.
No, not suicidal. I wanted -still want- the water. A river, a lake, an ocean, not just a measly little bathtub, pool, or pond.
I have self-identified as Dutch ever since I spent a few years living in the Netherlands. My mom's side of the family descends from Friesan sailors. I have always felt strong ties to water. I have snorkeled on the reefs of of the Florida Keys, almost let myself get caught in an undertow of the shore of southern New Jersey, gone tubing (you sit in a rubber inner-tire -a 'tube'-, preferably one that has had a wooden seat tied into it so that your butt doesn't make the acquaintance of every rock and sharp branch on the streambed and you do your best to not fall out) down rapids, swum in the Waddenzee. And tonight, tonight I can almost feel it in my blood. I want to swim. I want to dive, to not have to come up for air. I want to fill my lungs with water, and not have it kill me
I want to fly through the sea. I want to explore rivers, to find a spot on the bottom of a lake somewhere and curl up and go to sleep.
I'm not even sure I'm explaining this in a coherent fashion. But now I know what the rest of what's been bothering me all day is.
louisadkins out to Wal-Mart and such tonight. On the drive home, I very nearly took the exit for I-65, so that I could drive to the Tennessee river and dive in.No, not suicidal. I wanted -still want- the water. A river, a lake, an ocean, not just a measly little bathtub, pool, or pond.
I have self-identified as Dutch ever since I spent a few years living in the Netherlands. My mom's side of the family descends from Friesan sailors. I have always felt strong ties to water. I have snorkeled on the reefs of of the Florida Keys, almost let myself get caught in an undertow of the shore of southern New Jersey, gone tubing (you sit in a rubber inner-tire -a 'tube'-, preferably one that has had a wooden seat tied into it so that your butt doesn't make the acquaintance of every rock and sharp branch on the streambed and you do your best to not fall out) down rapids, swum in the Waddenzee. And tonight, tonight I can almost feel it in my blood. I want to swim. I want to dive, to not have to come up for air. I want to fill my lungs with water, and not have it kill me
I want to fly through the sea. I want to explore rivers, to find a spot on the bottom of a lake somewhere and curl up and go to sleep.
I'm not even sure I'm explaining this in a coherent fashion. But now I know what the rest of what's been bothering me all day is.
