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Apr. 19th, 2005 07:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
omimouseI don't like feeling like this. Trapped, scared, upset, and angry are the easiest emotions to identify in the chaotic soup that I'm feeling at the moment. I know at least one of the reasons that I'm feeling like this. While we're at it, let's add childish, immature, and guilty to the mix, hmmm?
I don't really know what I can do about this. The main thing behind all this is something that I'm more than likely going to have to do that I don't want to do. That I really, really, really don't want to do. Problem is, I can't really see much of a way out of it. And unless someone finds another solution, this is something the family really needs me to do. Hence the feelings of guilt, childishness, and immaturity. I don't wanna!
And the harder I try to get myself to stop feeling so mulish and childishly stubborn about this, the stronger the feelings get. I want to feel upbeat and cheerful about this, view this as a good thing that will make me feel better and improve my self-esteem. Know what? It ain't working. I'd tried the 'for the good of the family' line on myself once.
So why the Hell is writing this out helping?
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catchild, thou shalt feel no guilt over this whatsoever.
Ye gods, but I hate money. The cross-stitch commission booth is, for the record, officially open. $10-$15 dollars for a really nice looking bookmark/wall-hanging/you-name-it-I'll-stitch-it? Or let me know what you want if it's bigger than a standard bookmark/wall thingie, and we'll work out a price?
Hey, for $30, I'll stitch a pillow like the one the lovelychaiya and hakadamare got.
For that matter, what patterns/colours are popular in the pagan crowd this season?
Seriously.
I don't really know what I can do about this. The main thing behind all this is something that I'm more than likely going to have to do that I don't want to do. That I really, really, really don't want to do. Problem is, I can't really see much of a way out of it. And unless someone finds another solution, this is something the family really needs me to do. Hence the feelings of guilt, childishness, and immaturity. I don't wanna!
And the harder I try to get myself to stop feeling so mulish and childishly stubborn about this, the stronger the feelings get. I want to feel upbeat and cheerful about this, view this as a good thing that will make me feel better and improve my self-esteem. Know what? It ain't working. I'd tried the 'for the good of the family' line on myself once.
So why the Hell is writing this out helping?
catchild, thou shalt feel no guilt over this whatsoever.Ye gods, but I hate money. The cross-stitch commission booth is, for the record, officially open. $10-$15 dollars for a really nice looking bookmark/wall-hanging/you-name-it-I'll-stitch-it? Or let me know what you want if it's bigger than a standard bookmark/wall thingie, and we'll work out a price?
Hey, for $30, I'll stitch a pillow like the one the lovely
chaiya and hakadamare got.For that matter, what patterns/colours are popular in the pagan crowd this season?
Seriously.
