(no subject)

[omimouse]

I need to calm down and back off.

I am seriously over-stressed right now, and I don't have a clue how to go about fixing it.


I'm upset, worried, and angry about the whole mess going on between reana, catchild, and Ebon.

I'm grouchy and irritated about Dragon's attitude and general crankyness levels of late. That, and the way he deals with money. The man is hideously far into debt, and is spending money like he has nothing to worry about. His temper is short, he is increasingly impossible to play games with if he's not winning; in short, he's cranky, snarly, and tempremental unless everything is going exactly the way he wants it to.

I'm upset about the way that the Puppy's been lying and about the Bear-Cub's attitude. I'm scared about the way that the Puppy isn't gaining weight. I'm upset about the way that Bear-Cub is being treated in school, both by her classmates and by her teachers.

I'm nervous and scared about our current financial situation, which, quite frankly, sucks. Ebon needs to wait until all his dental work is done (today) before he can go look for a job. warinbear still doesn't know for certain if he's going to get hired or not.

warinbear is in the midst of changing meds, which means that the one he's on right now is not yet up to full strength in his system, and it shows. He's more short-tempered, doesn't do stuff if he doesn't want to, and doesn't seem to want to do anything with anyone other than me. I am getting very tired and snarly about his continuing preoccupation with games of any stripe to anything else, icluding stuff that he said he'd do and then never gets around to doing. I am reminding myself that it will take another month before the meds kick in all the way, but the irritation is still there.

On top of all of this, I need glasses. Reading or prolonged computer activity are relaxing and calming, but they are also leaving me with a headache. My glasses will be in sometime in the next week; hopefully they will at least help me get back to my relaxing stuff without the nagging headache.

I'm switching between myself and Astrid about once every five minutes, if not more frequently, because of the stress. I'm getting closer than I ever wanted to be to a complete shutdown. That, or shattering. I'm tired, my stomach is almost constantly roiling, and I cannot afford to just curl up and cry all of the frustration, hurt, anger, and fear out, because too many people need me to be strong. I am a support, of my own free will, for too many people that need that support very much right now. I am, however, also not stupid. Whether I can afford to have a small breakdown or not, I'm going to have to deal with this. It can happen at a time and place of my choosing, or it will happen when I can no longer contain the feelings.

I am more than likely going to have that minor collapse and mini-meltdown later tonight, after warinbear gets home. Just getting all that out of my system helped some; getting it all the way out should help more.