(no subject)

So, Monday evening Louis and I got into an argument. I don't even know what it was about, just that it was very sudden and out of the blue. Somewhere towards the end, when we were in the 'sorting ourselves out and fixing things' stage, the pregnancy thing came back up. Louis was very insistent that I actually go see someone about the fact that after 2 years with no form of birth control whatsoever, I still wasn't pregnant. There was some crying, and I sighed, realized I was late, and trudged into the bathroom to pee on yet *another* stick, knowing that I was just confirming what I already knew.

30 seconds after putting the stick on the sink counter, I glanced at it, and my heart tried to stop.

"Louis, I need your help in here. Okay, how many lines are there? 2 lines, are there 2 lines? Are you sure?"

And then I just flat out lost it sobbing. About 10 minutes ago, I took another test, out of sheer paranoia, and the second line came up almost before the control line. I am also constantly tired, hungry, have random cramps, my breasts are heavy, nipples feel like they're trying to leave my chest . . .

I'm pregnant. It took seeing the second test for it to sink in, but after two solid years of trying, I'm finally pregnant.

I know that the safe thing to do is to not tell much of anyone until you've hit the 4th month and are therefore out of the most common miscarriage zone. But today, Louis and I pretty much decided at the same time that after two years, we wanted to sing it from the rooftops. Because, even if something goes wrong, this means I can *get* pregnant. This means it can happen. I don't want something to go wrong; it'll hurt like hell if something does, but now I know that my body is actually *working*.

Uhm. I'm pregnant. 'Scuse me, I seem to bee hyperventilating here. And possibly crying.