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I forgot how long the mourning process takes. While the timing of Oma's death was sudden, I had been expecting it for at least five years. I knew it was coming. I had time to prepare, to come to terms with it. When she died, it still hurt. It just took a lot less time for me to finish saying goodbye, and to be able to think about her without it hurting. It's different when you don't have time to prepare. It hits you like a knife, and it can take years for the knife to slowly twist its way out of your heart and gut.
Especially when you lost someone, not to death, but to . . . I still don't know what we lost her to, to be honest. When I feel bitter about it, I get snarly about how I never really knew there was a problem until it went boom, because no one fuckin' talked to me, but that's only when I feel particularly bitter about it.
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ebonunicorn's son, Nik is up for the weekend. Apparantly, he'd been to an SCA thingie in the past week or two. He met Reana's son, L there. He told Bear-Cub and Puppy that he met L, and that L told him that he'd "broken up" with Bear-Cub, and that he no longer like her or Puppy. He was very insistent about this. Bear-Cub said something to the effect of "he never would've said something like that", and Nik got very set on it. Bear-Cub and Puppy were in tears for over thirty minutes.
I don't know what to think, or what in all of this is truth, and what isn't. I know that I'm not angry or upset at any of the kids involved. When adults fight, all too often it is the children who pay the price.
I'm just so very, very tired of all of this. I will probably never know all of what happened between Drkn, Reana, and Catchild. This means that I will also probably never know what caused the relationship between the three of them to explode so badly. All I know is that we are still mourning. I am still mourning. And my two eldest daughters have more than likely lost people that were very close and important to them.
And every now and then, the knife hits a nerve on its slow, painful way out.
Especially when you lost someone, not to death, but to . . . I still don't know what we lost her to, to be honest. When I feel bitter about it, I get snarly about how I never really knew there was a problem until it went boom, because no one fuckin' talked to me, but that's only when I feel particularly bitter about it.
ebonunicorn's son, Nik is up for the weekend. Apparantly, he'd been to an SCA thingie in the past week or two. He met Reana's son, L there. He told Bear-Cub and Puppy that he met L, and that L told him that he'd "broken up" with Bear-Cub, and that he no longer like her or Puppy. He was very insistent about this. Bear-Cub said something to the effect of "he never would've said something like that", and Nik got very set on it. Bear-Cub and Puppy were in tears for over thirty minutes.I don't know what to think, or what in all of this is truth, and what isn't. I know that I'm not angry or upset at any of the kids involved. When adults fight, all too often it is the children who pay the price.
I'm just so very, very tired of all of this. I will probably never know all of what happened between Drkn, Reana, and Catchild. This means that I will also probably never know what caused the relationship between the three of them to explode so badly. All I know is that we are still mourning. I am still mourning. And my two eldest daughters have more than likely lost people that were very close and important to them.
And every now and then, the knife hits a nerve on its slow, painful way out.
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I have a compromise to suggest: L has a private email account. Would it be possible for the kids to communicate by email? He's had it since his dad and a very close friend were shipped to Iraq. The only things we actually check are email addresses unless we have a very good reason to suspect otherwise. He has earned his right to communicate with his dad and friends privately over the last year. That way, the kidlets could still have some communication.
You're very correct in thinking that when the adults fight, the kids end up paying the price. I think about the girls every day... and I think about you, and Scott, and Holly, and the others that I care about. I'm also at a complete loss as to what to do about the situation. It seems that everything I have suggested has only made things worse. Right now, I wish I could give both girls a big hug, and explain things to them. But that might only confuse them more. So I guess hugs, unless you count good wishes and warm thoughts, are out of the question.
If you have any ideas, please feel free to share.
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As for ideas, I don't know. I wish I did. My e-mail is open.
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If you don't mind, Wulfie, what I would really like right about now is a very big hug.
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