Not that this is your problem in any way, or that I disagree with you and your family staying away from the bastard (wholeheartedly approve!)....if it helps, it might be good to remember that she was abused, and all the crap she puts you through, including and especially the attitude that only appearance matters, is all about her own defenses against what was done to her. If nothing else, it might help to make interactions with the bee-itch bearable. Not to mention, suddenly treating her with compassion and/or pity would knock her off balance and probably piss the hell out of her.

(I discovered a long time ago that the best response to truly poisonous people is to be consistently nice, and firm with my boundaries, and uninterested in their drama, no matter what....it drives them batty, and gives my sadistic little heart a thrill -- and eventually they stop trying to get your goat because they're not getting anywhere)

In any case, ya'll know I'm here, I care, and I'm rooting for all of you.