Reply to Point A: Yes, I do expect L to find out relatively soon. However, L does not have the maturity to understand that there are people who do not need to hear about my personal life without jeopardizing it. Remember the reason for the move from H-ville? And the only place I could run to would be to TX. As his mother, I have the right to make certain decisions, right or wrong, dealing with this. I haven't changed them and I certainly do not like being pushed into making my personal life public consumption.
Reply to Point B: Have I ever been ASKED about child-proofing my house? Now that it's been mentioned, I'm working on it.
Reply to Point C: Blood family. Yes. I love my blood family. They were/are also judgemental as hell. I don't believe in courting trouble or giving members of my (very old-fashioned) family heart attacks. If they ask a question, then I will answer it. I will not flaunt something that will hurt them, but I won't lie about it. And I had already started laying the groundwork for catchild to meet my sister at a future date after I made relatively sure that she wouldn't immediately lash out at something she doesn't understand. I also don't believe in exposing people I care about to unwarranted attack, especially when it's due to ignorance.
Reply to Point D: Yes, the bonfire mess was nasty. A mediator would be a good idea. But cutting out one or more parties that were present isn't going to work. Like it or not, it happened the way it happened and it will take everyone to work it out. I will not be put in the middle between two people I love or cut off from someone I love because another party doesn't like something that happened. If this is a family problem, then deal with it as such and stop throwing ultimatums around. Ultimatums generally tend to get an unpleasant response from me.
Reply to Point E: Do you think I haven't thought about this? Hell, I wasn't looking for a damn thing when it got dropped into my lap. But this is the kind of thing that, like cancer, it'll kill you if you don't pay attention. I want to stabilize a lot of things. Being on rocky ground with ebon anyway, I was and had been working on it for a while. Hell, I'm still working on it. It's doubly difficult now, but I can try. As for the blood family, yes, they're going to eventually find out anyway. There's still a difference between flaunting your differences and hurting the people that raised you in the process deliberately and being quiet about it out of respect for their personal beliefs. Again, I'm not going to lie. But I won't give my grandmother who has a pacemaker or my grandfather who has had four heart attacks reason to wonder why they raised me badly. If they lived that long. As for permitting someone else the same openness, see the comment about ignorance in Reply to Point A. That's my blood family. Really. I don't like exposing any of the people I care about to the judgemental bullshit I've dealt with my entire life.
Reply to Final: Yes, we need to work together on this. All of us. Compromises can be made, but they have to be made on ALL sides.
Yes, Omi, you found your backbone and you've made some very good points. I congratulate you for it.
As for some of the other comments: I've tried to relate to catchild that I love her and the kids very much. But it's not going to do much good to call and talk when I'm so angry that I'm likely to do more harm than good. I'm just as upset and angry, maybe more so, as everyone else.
Now I'm being told that someone who I care about very much and am bonded to cannot step on the property after being told that everyone actively likes him. He has to apologize for defending me to someone who should have known better in the first place. Now, everyone is willing to overlook that night and discuss what's going on except catchild. It feels (and this is perception here, at least in part) like someone is actively trying to separate me from someone that is seen as interfering with what's left of my relationship with ebon. Who will also defend me from anyone or anything.
Now, I think I need another really hot shower to calm the hell down again.
no subject
Yes, I do expect L to find out relatively soon. However, L does not have the maturity to understand that there are people who do not need to hear about my personal life without jeopardizing it. Remember the reason for the move from H-ville? And the only place I could run to would be to TX. As his mother, I have the right to make certain decisions, right or wrong, dealing with this. I haven't changed them and I certainly do not like being pushed into making my personal life public consumption.
Reply to Point B:
Have I ever been ASKED about child-proofing my house? Now that it's been mentioned, I'm working on it.
Reply to Point C:
Blood family. Yes. I love my blood family. They were/are also judgemental as hell. I don't believe in courting trouble or giving members of my (very old-fashioned) family heart attacks. If they ask a question, then I will answer it. I will not flaunt something that will hurt them, but I won't lie about it. And I had already started laying the groundwork for catchild to meet my sister at a future date after I made relatively sure that she wouldn't immediately lash out at something she doesn't understand. I also don't believe in exposing people I care about to unwarranted attack, especially when it's due to ignorance.
Reply to Point D:
Yes, the bonfire mess was nasty. A mediator would be a good idea. But cutting out one or more parties that were present isn't going to work. Like it or not, it happened the way it happened and it will take everyone to work it out. I will not be put in the middle between two people I love or cut off from someone I love because another party doesn't like something that happened. If this is a family problem, then deal with it as such and stop throwing ultimatums around. Ultimatums generally tend to get an unpleasant response from me.
Reply to Point E:
Do you think I haven't thought about this? Hell, I wasn't looking for a damn thing when it got dropped into my lap. But this is the kind of thing that, like cancer, it'll kill you if you don't pay attention. I want to stabilize a lot of things. Being on rocky ground with ebon anyway, I was and had been working on it for a while. Hell, I'm still working on it. It's doubly difficult now, but I can try. As for the blood family, yes, they're going to eventually find out anyway. There's still a difference between flaunting your differences and hurting the people that raised you in the process deliberately and being quiet about it out of respect for their personal beliefs. Again, I'm not going to lie. But I won't give my grandmother who has a pacemaker or my grandfather who has had four heart attacks reason to wonder why they raised me badly. If they lived that long. As for permitting someone else the same openness, see the comment about ignorance in Reply to Point A. That's my blood family. Really. I don't like exposing any of the people I care about to the judgemental bullshit I've dealt with my entire life.
Reply to Final:
Yes, we need to work together on this. All of us. Compromises can be made, but they have to be made on ALL sides.
Yes, Omi, you found your backbone and you've made some very good points.
I congratulate you for it.
As for some of the other comments:
I've tried to relate to catchild that I love her and the kids very much. But it's not going to do much good to call and talk when I'm so angry that I'm likely to do more harm than good. I'm just as upset and angry, maybe more so, as everyone else.
Now I'm being told that someone who I care about very much and am bonded to cannot step on the property after being told that everyone actively likes him. He has to apologize for defending me to someone who should have known better in the first place. Now, everyone is willing to overlook that night and discuss what's going on except catchild. It feels (and this is perception here, at least in part) like someone is actively trying to separate me from someone that is seen as interfering with what's left of my relationship with ebon. Who will also defend me from anyone or anything.
Now, I think I need another really hot shower to calm the hell down again.