omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] warinbear just called from the local hospital. He caught his hand in something at work. No broken bones, 3 stitches. Someone's coming here to get [livejournal.com profile] louisadkins to go and get Warin's car, and I think they're dropping Warin off here as well.

-fidget- -spaz- -fretfretfret-

He sounded fine on the phone, according to Louis. I'll see him in a little bit.

He hurt himself bad enough to admit he needed to go to the hospital. To leave work. This is Warin we're talking about, here. Just about anyone else, and I wouldn't be this worried. But Warin has to be practically hammered over the head before he'll call in, or before he'll leave work.

-worry- -fretfretfret- -fidget-

I will be fine once he gets home and I can see for myself. Really, I will be.

Catchild,

Apr. 20th, 2006 04:44 pm
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
email is away.

Have something on hand to counteract the potential for an instant blood pressure headache, 'kay?
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Kayla)
Warin got a response. .

Right, then.

I am doing research on custidodial IRA accounts, since that's what Kathy said it was. So far, I'm finding that it should have been turned over to him when he turned 21.

They want Warin to go to family counseling with Kathy. They want him to explain why they're not allowed to see the kids anymore (they were given multiple warnings, and full reasons). They still think he owes them a sum of money on the loan that indicates that they are still applying intrest to it. This was not agreed to when the loan was originally loaned out, and while the loan is a legal debt, the intrest is not. They called him their 'prodigal son', who has 'squandered his inheritance on riotous living.'

Tomorrow, it's IRS time.

Please, don't try to explain their reasons to/for me right now. Abuse and general vicious, contolling behaviour is not excused by good intentions. It is not made lesser by good deeds performed in the past, present, or future. Do I think that they are demons? We are all our own angels and our own demons, so in that regard, yes, they are. They are their own demons; they destroy their own lives and relationships. They have souls, and wants, and needs, same as everyone else. And, like everybody else, they are capabale of both extreme good and mind-numbing evil, and all the shades of grey in between.

Asking me to have any kind of sympathy for them while they are doing their best to shred Warin in to little bitty bits where no one else can see is more than asking a bit much of me.

After this, our only contact with them is going to be loan payments. After that, well, we'll see if they've managed to get past the need to control everything that Warin does.

I'm not holding my breath.

I am going to go play WoW now. Hopefully, killing things online will help me calm down.
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Astrid)
So, you're a parent, right? Even if you're not, please, for the sake of this excercise pretend. You've got kids, and you want to make sure that they're set up later in life. So you set up IRAs for them, in their names. You put money in them, and so on and so forth.

Later on, when one of the kids is all grown up and been having some problems paying off a debt to you, you offer the IRA he has as a way of paying off the debt. He says no thanks, but I would really like the info on the IRA for my financial paperwork. A week or two later, he e-mails you again, saying that he needs the information for his finacial paperwork.

A week after that (still no response whatsoever) he calls one of you at work, re-stating that he needs the information. Information on an IRA that is in his name. What, as a parent, is your response?

For example, is it, "Why do you want to know?", with a strong dash of, "We won't give you the information until you tell us why you want it."

This is not making me happy. They have already put Warin and Catchild both in not-so-good graces with one of the finacial aid departments in Alabama because they didn't give him information on something financial with his name on it. Like, say, a savings account with a large sum of money in it. They applied, and, not knowing about the account, didn't list it. Alabama's response was not happy, and they pointed out that Warin and Catchild hadn't listed this account as one of their resources. I think that the two of them stil can't apply for any kind of financial aid from the state of Alalbama because of that debacle.

There is no excuse for this. This is playing games of control with money that has Warin' name on it. No matter what they think of how he lives his life or spends his money, this IRA is in his name. Common bloody courtesy would dictate that they give him the information on it, without playing stupid little petty ass games.

Anyone know of any legal recourse we can take if they decide to be total jackasses about this? Better yet, do any of the folks related to Kathy know where they have their IRAs through so we can contact the financial institution directly?

Damnitall

Jan. 12th, 2006 01:50 am
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Astrid)
Well, that was probably not the best of ideas, but I did it anyway.

I just got involved in a debate on racism. I tried to not get involved, because long experience in the US has taught me that if you're white, you're not allowed to have an opinion on stuff like this. Not usually, anyway. Exceptions, as always, exist.

Y'know, there are days where I wish that there were these massive sprinkler systems everywhere. They would spray a thick layer of paint, random colour selections. You wouldn't be able to tell what colour anyone was. And if the paint was thick enough, you wouldn't be able to tell gender. No pre-concieved notions, you'd just have to go on how they treated you, what kind of person they were. Or I wish everyone was blind.

Some days, I just wish for the sun to go nova, before we spread the disease of hatred beyond our solar system.

Do folks have any idea how it sounds to be told that you can hide your sexuality, so that doesn't count? Or have they just never really been in love with someone of the same gender?

And here I thought it was just the neo-Cons and Dominionist Christians that hated me sight unseen for things that I cannot really control.
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Mouse)
And yet another PSA.

Being a listening ear = fine. More than fine, perfectly okay, understandable, and really in high demand right now. For the record, [livejournal.com profile] catchild could really use a lot of this right now.

Talking with us = fine. Again, perfectly okay, understandable, and all that.

Making a value judgement based off of only partial information = not fine.

We. Do. Not. Need. Anyone. Else. Involved. In. This. Mess.

Yeah, the time of the year for it was crappy. You don't live here = you don't have a clue what the alternative would have been. Especially if you didn't bother to talk to all of us.

So, how many friends do I loose because of this? Hmm? How many of you are going to blame the three of us for leaving? How many more of you think that we're scum for leaving?

Okay, I'm angry enough right now that I need to back off of this before I start screaming at friends that really don't deserve it.

Just, please try not to take sides in this, 'kay? There are no 'sides' to take. None of us out here are asking you to choose between us.

And this hurt enough before I ran into the rant directed at myself and [livejournal.com profile] warinbear on my f-list this morning.

PSA

Dec. 18th, 2005 10:36 pm
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
Catchild, Drkn, you will probably want to check your e-mail before reading further.

[livejournal.com profile] louisadkins, [livejournal.com profile] warinbear, and myself are going to be moving into an apartment in the area in the very near future. We will be (all of us) working on keeping the friendships that exist.

However, at this juncture, the three of us have decided that this is simply not going to work.

My only request of the readership (gods, that sounds pretentious!) is that they remember that we are all hurting over this, and that Warin's mother not be informed. Or his grandparents, as that would likely amount to the same thing. I apologize if this comes across as asking you to keep secrets, as that is not my intent. We simply do not need Warin's mother lunging in on us in an attempt to get access to the children. That, and we are not asking anyone to 'pick sides'.

If you have prayers or Good Thoughts to spare, I would ask that the children get first dibs.

Naomi/Astrid/Kayla
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
The past month has been stressful in the extreme. I most likely follow [livejournal.com profile] catchild in creating a multiples filter, if that tells you anything about what the past month has been like.

Letting folks know that I'm okay and everything. The family is dealing with some major changes and growth stuff, so we're all kind of internally focused right now. LJ sort of slid by the wayside for a while.
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
Okay, this would be in the category of Very Fucking Not Good. http://www.livejournal.com/users/twistedchick/1359043.html?#cutid3

My apologies for not coding the link, but I've been having problems with that lately.

If you will excuse me, I have some Representatives and Senators to get in touch with.
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
Someone please wake me up when the shit is out of the way. Or when I can help. Or when Drkn has actually gotten enough sleep. Or when Phooka will let me hold her and cuddle her.

-sigh- My ability to care about anything other than basic survival is incredibly just now. I'm very tired, and I am probably going to carefully forget most of what Drkn was saying this evening, simply because I know that he hasn't really been sleeping all that much for the past two weeks, and that makes his temper fly away into the stratosphere.

I am going to go do meaningless stuff on the computer now.

YAFGE

Aug. 16th, 2005 04:28 pm
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
This was something that I had hoped to never add to my list of things done.

Juliette overheated today. While [livejournal.com profile] louisadkins and I were on the way home from picking the girls up from school. Thankfully, we were only about a mile away from the school when she did this, so we were able to walk back (after leaving her in someone's driveway with a note on the dashboard) without to much trouble. Louis and the kids appear to have made the walk in TN summer without to much in the way of problems. I'm only mildly heat exhausted, and the heat rash on my extreme upper inner thighs should clear up in a few days. I'm also the most heat sensitive in the whole house. Cold weather, now that's another story. I'll be wearing skirts and short-sleeved shirts when [livejournal.com profile] catchild and the girls are shivering under sweats, a shirt, and a sweater.

But I digress. So, we made it back to the school and used the phone in the office. [livejournal.com profile] ebonunicorn and Catchild came and got us in the van. We wnet back, and thankfully, Juliette was still there. Drkn and Louis messed around with her for a bit, poured some water into something or other (no, the internal workings of cars never was my strong point, why), and then I drove Juliette back home with Louis riding shotgun and the van right behind me.

We'll be getting her towed someplace to get looked at. I know the problem has to to with the coolant system, but that sums up my knowledge of the problem.

I am vaguely worried that I could probably diagnose problems with the Enterprise's warp core better than I can diagnose my own car.

And that was thunder, so I need to close this now.
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
Ground, center, shield. Ground, center, shield. Ground, center, shield. Damnit all, I thought I knew how to do this! Ground, center, shield. Ground, center . . . shit, there goes my ground again.

-sigh- I am an empath. [livejournal.com profile] catchild is not exactly in the most stable of headspaces at the moment, and will likely be like that for a while. I do not need to be broadcasting pain, despair, grief, and anguish all over the fucking place. Not being able to stuff the emotions back into the little box in my head that they've been in for the past year and a half isn't helping.

I need to deal with stuff that I hadn't dealt with because I needed to be stable for that year and a half. I needed to be stable, because Catchild and [livejournal.com profile] ebonunicorn were damn near going nova. I still need to be stable, but what's inside that box needs to be dealt with. What's inside that box needs to be felt, never mind how much I don't want to deal with it, to feel it. There are things inside that box that I don't like to think came of me, because under all the pain is rage so strong that it is almost hatred.

And what's inside that box is leaking out and shredding the shields that keep me from ramming how I feel down the throats of every sensitive around me. Dear gods, those are just the leaks. I don't want to do this.

Unfortunately, I know that whether I want to or not, I need to.
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] warinbear sent the e-mail a few days ago. K's reply came in today.

For the first time in my life online, I find myself wanting to post an e-mail. Namely, the one she sent us. Warin was not even able to get all of the way through it. The rest of us here at Sanctuary read it instead. We then proceeded to hug our bear. I don't know what to think of his response when someone referenced "Warin's mother" after he got the e-mail. "I have a mother?"

For those of you who know K, no, she still cannot see anything that she did as wrong. Warin has chosen to not respond. He knows that it will do nothing for how K thinks or acts, and it will not help him either. As for me, I want to reply to her. I have four years of pent up rage and despair to unleash in her face.

I want to reply to her e-mail. I want to explain to her in small words exactly how she lost her son. I want her to hurt the way my daughters are hurting, the way my husband is hurting. I want to see the dawning look of horror and despair on her face when she finally realizes all that she has done; when all the emotions that she has caused come home to roost.

I want her to live a very long life, alone, unwanted, and unloved, because Warin expected nothing less out of life because of her. Her God loves her, and I do not believe that she hears him crying as she steps further and further away from His teachings of compassion, love, mercy, kindness, and forgiveness.

I could almost wish right now to forget that I set an example for my children by my actions. I will probably write that letter, just to get it out of my system. I do not think that I will send it. It would do nothing, change nothing, and I am not getting into a shouting match with an abusive Schwein.

Don't ask me to wish for good things for her, please. It's all I can do at the moment to not actively wish for bad things for her. And the only reason I'm not is because she isn't worth the karma.

But-

May she get out of life exactly what she puts into it.
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
So, over the weekend, [livejournal.com profile] warinbear's mom (K) e-mails Bear-Cub. K tells Bear-Cub that the Huntsville Public Library will be having a birthday party for Harry Potter on Monday (today) and that she thought that Bear-Cub and her sister would be interested. Oh, and if no one else could drive, she could play driver for them.

We decided to go ahead and go. Let the kids spend some time with their Nana, let me spend some time with some very good friends. I practically grew up in that library. I was a volunteer and an employee there. I have friends there that remember me from when I was 7 years old. Therefore, I was perfectly fine with being around K there. My turf, y'see. Well, as fine with being around her as I was ever going to be. We drove ourselves, taking 2 cars so that [livejournal.com profile] louisadkins could go with me, [livejournal.com profile] catchild and all three girls.

Meeting old friends (library itself included in that category) was wonderful, the event was fun, all three girls had a blast. Phooka was in heaven in the toddler section. Catchild got to say hi to folks that she had met through me a few years ago, and I got to introduce Louis to old friends of mine.

Fast-forward about an hour and a half, to 5:30 in the evening. Catchild and I were needing food rather badly at that point. Louis goes in search of the two older girls. He found them with K. He told them that we needed to leave to get food, and that we needed to leave now. K was getting out pictures to show them at the same time that he was saying this. She said that she could just show them to the girls real quick first. Kids ignored Louis and dove into the pictures. Self-satisfied smile from K that the girls missed. Louis repeated himself on the needing to leave now angle four more times. He was ignored by both girls and by K. Fourth time, he informed the girls that if they did not move, they were going directly to bed upon our arrival at home.

Bear-Cub and Puppy moved. Bear-Cub was highly upset with having to go, and not happy about having a potential punishment tossed at her. Louis was (and still is) understandably upset about being ignored by both children and adult. Especially since Bear-Cub and K both know that Catchild is hypoglycemic. Bear-Cub also knows very well what happens when either of her mommies don't get food when they need to.

K was very obvious in comforting (and in my opinion, egging on) the upset Bear-Cub.

Okay. In review, that might seem like a small thing to be furious with a grandparent over. To review: K deliberately undermined Louis's authority with the girls. By example, she showed them that it was okay to ignore him. She then demonstrated to the girls that she felt that they shouldn't have gotten into any kind of trouble over it. She has done this to me, to [livejournal.com profile] ebonunicorn(Drkn), and to Catchild. I do not know if she has done it to Warin. I do know that both myself and Drkn usually catch most of it.

If past experience is any indication, the older girls will most likely ignore both myself and Louis for about a week or so.

I was furious and damn near hysterical with hurt and anger when we got home. I am now feeling very cold. K has finally crossed a line in my mind, and she has finally pushed to far.

My official parental vote on anything involving K is that the kids should not have contact with her. At all. Period. She refuses to stop undermining our parental authority with the girls. By doing so, she is teaching them by example that they do not have to listen to us or take us seriously. She is toxic, and it is my opinion that if we don't really trust her to be alone with the girls in the first place, why in the name of Hell are we letting her anywhere near our daughters at all? Yes, cutting her out of their lives now would hurt, but I think it's time we were actually honest with our children instead of hoping that K won't do something that'll screw them up for life.

Oh, wait. It's already to late on that front, isn't it? I say tell them the truth, hold them, hug them, remind them that we love them and that this is not their fault. Tell them all the things that we haven't been telling them about their Nana. And then get her the fuck out of their lives before she destroys them while we're waiting for her to do something 'obvious'.

My stance on this is no longer open to debate.



P.S. Catchild, I am not angry with you, this is not your fault, and I still love you very much, as I likely always will. While I am addressing several of your points, I am not upset with you. Okay?
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Mouse)
Right. We have got to find a way to stop spending holidays like this.

At about 9ish this morning, there was a gunshot fairly close to the house. Okay, it's the 4th, it's July, it happens, no biggie. I don't remember who looked out the window, but a few minutes later, it was noted that our neighbour (he of the Chow and stalking of the fence-line) seemed to be trying to get our attention from his side of the fence. With much yelling and arm waving.

[livejournal.com profile] ebonunicorn went out to see what the problem was. The neighbour was throwing a fit over the drainpipe for the well. It was either throught the fence-line or very close to it. He was bitching about it being on his property, and that we had damn well better fix it.

Somewhere in all of this, the phrase "knock your fucking head off" was directed towards Drkn.

A phone call to the sheriff insued. Neighbour in question, FTR, seemd to think that being an honourably discharged marine meant that the cops weren't going to do anything to him. At all, no matter what. He expressed this thought with some volume. Much talking with police and deputies ensued. A fair portion of Sanctuary wound up trouping downtown to talk to a magistrate. This is where we learned that a Captain had had a talk with our neighbour. The advice we got was to go to the courthouse tomorrow morning and talk to someone there. And to completely ignore the neighbour. Said neighbour has been informed by the Captain that he is to leave us alone, and call the cops if he has a problem with us, and the cops will come play go-between.

The drainpipe has been shortened, and will be shortened further later today. The Captain says that the runnoff is not a problem, as the pipe is pointed downhill towards the drainage ditch that runs along the property line. He commented that "Water runs downhill, that just is. Me, I'd be happy to have water run onto my land."

Tired now, and more than a little jumpy. The family meeting is scheduled for today; it stands a good chance of being postponed so that we don't try to hold a rational discussion while still coming down from fight-or-flight mode.
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
Okay, when they said 'you may experience some mood swings' in regards to the birth control pill that I've been on for the last month and a half, they lied through their teeth.

What they should have said was this: 'You have chosen to ride the emotional equivalent of Terror Mountain. You will start off at horny, swing up into homicidal, come back down through horny on your way to moody depression, with a sudden upswing back up into insanely cheerful, followed by jagged swings up and down from horny enough to contemplate the stickshift of your car all the way to sudden crying fits and hysteria. There will be the occasional detour through extreme apathy, boredom, and bouts of restlesness just to keep your intrest during the ride.'

Seriously. I'd love to be able to hold onto an emotional state for longer than an hour at most. The insert said the worst side-effects were in the first three months, and that most side-effects go away completely after the first six.
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] warinbear's grandfather sent him an e-mail. He wants to come and visit.

The man is a known child molester. [livejournal.com profile] catchild's journal holds more info on the subject.

Old New England family. He is the family patriarch. The whole family knows that he likes little girls, and most of them carefully pretend that the problem doesn't exist.

Old family, old blood, and he has the family estate. According to his eldest daughter ([livejournal.com profile] warinbear's mom) who also happens to be the executer of his estate, he has a right to have access to every member of his family. Quoting: " That was a long time ago. He knows what he did was inappropriate; he doesn't do it anymore. Besides, he only did it to his own daughters, and only to make them better wives. And he has never done it to anyone else." Direct quote, to the best of [livejournal.com profile] catchild memory, from four years ago.

If you do anything that upsets her, you get cut out of any will that she has any control over, and she does his books and estate for him. And not letting him have access to his kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids upsets her. And she still believes that he has a right to see his great-grandchildren, even after one of her sisters sent a letter to every family member that she had an address for. Said letter was a copy of one that she had sent her father, and listed what he had done to her and to her older daughter.

Our daughters, [livejournal.com profile] catchild and myself are, to the best of my knowledge, the only female family members that he has not molested in some way.

I despise family politics.
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
Today started with me leaving the bed at high speeds to empty an already empty stomach. Between the paint fumes from the freshly painted bookcase, sinus drainage down my throat, and overheating during the night, I wound up with a nasty case of the heaves this morning. [livejournal.com profile] warinbear and [livejournal.com profile] louisadkins both deserve medals. [livejournal.com profile] warinbear was awake, out of bed, and holding my hair back within seconds. [livejournal.com profile] louisadkins showed up at the door shortly thereafter, and got a cool, damp washcloth onto the back of my neck. I spent most of the day dealing with a sinus headache and the shitty feeling of low blood-sugar. I really don't like the reaction of needing to eat badly enough that you feel sick to your stomach. It leads to a viscous circle.

About thirty or so minutes after I was showered and settled back into bed (with the cats on guard duty, I might add) [livejournal.com profile] louisadkins yelled loud enough that [livejournal.com profile] warinbear and I heard him in the bedroom. I staggered out to see what the problem was, and noticed the distinct scent of burnt electronics. His computer's power supply had burned out, and taken several other components with it. I crawled back into bed, and was dimly aware of the two bears snarling at Warin's computer. It couldn't see all the RAM that was there. It kept seeing everything except for about 64 megs. Last I heard, they hadn't fixed the problem.

And then, while they were doing this, the sunburn that Warin had picked up on Friday began to itch. He had Louis rub Solarcaine over it, in the hopes that that would help. Thirty seconds later, it was itching so badly that he couldn't concentrate on anything. He took a cool shower. I dozed during his shower, and woke up to the sounds of my husband crying in the bathroom. With Warin and Ebon both, crying is a sign of extreme distress, whether emotional or physical. Adreneline spiked, and I found myself out of bed and checking on Warin. The shower hadn't helped any, and he was fighting to not claw his shoulders open. Calomine lotion didn't help, and he was starting to rock and shake.

I called [livejournal.com profile] catchild up in NY, and told her what was going on. She reccomended covering the area in towels dipped in a half-and-half mixture of white vinegar and water. I also gave him Benadryl, in case it was an allergic reaction to the Solarcaine. The towels helped for a little bit. I called [livejournal.com profile] catchild back after about thirty or so minutes, because slightly raised white spots were starting to come up in the sunburn. She said to take him to the ER. Now.

So, off to the ER we went. It stopped itching while we were waiting for the doctor and started hurting instead. Then the Benadryl kicked him. They gave him some drugs on the spot, and gave us a sunburn treatment worksheet to take home with us. They also gave him a perscription for two different painkillers. We haven't filled them out yet. He's sleeping for now. We're going to give him the standard sunburn treatment, and see how that goes. He doesn't want to fill out the perscription unless the pain gets bad enough for him to need perscription strength painkillers.

On the good side, the adreneline spike stopped my nausea. I've eaten, the headache's gone, and I actually feel much better. I still wish that we hadn't had to take Warin to the ER.

All in all, it's been one hell of a day.

Grieving

Mar. 29th, 2004 04:48 pm
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
AOL hath been shot in the head. We are now (finally!) live on ISDN, and the phones are actually back online again after a weekend of not ringing through. I'm busy with a PS game called Suikoden, and . . . OK, enough of this.

Depressive rambling behind the cut )
omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
I need to calm down and back off.

I am seriously over-stressed right now, and I don't have a clue how to go about fixing it.

Laundry List )

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omimouse: Digital painting of a mouse wielding a spear (Default)
Naomi

January 2013

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